Year of Me Choice #2: Do What You Want and Don't Feel Bad

To recap: I'm working towards life improvement by making intentional and thoughtful choices each and every day...then I'm going to tell you about them! 

It has been soooo long since I've contributed to the blog (J is probably pissed, but she's been holding it down with all sorts of interesting things so it's all good). The only excuse that I can come up with is that there truly has been an incredible amount of change happening in my life this summer, and I'm still trying to keep up! Now all I need to do is remember to take the time to share it with you...

Choice #2: Do What You Want and Don't Feel Bad, is actually more like Choice #2-200, because I  used this summer to make tons of life decisions that needed to be made, and then I stuck with them.

All my life I've been a worrier. I will make a choice, then agonize over it for hours, days, or months even. I'll drive my friends crazy with my constant debating about what to do and what's right! I took some time to think about why I do this, and I've come to the conclusion that I value what other people think too much (key words being "too much"). There's nothing wrong with asking for opinions of course, but in the end I never wanted to have the final say in my own decisions. 

This is what I have been desperately working on from about June until now. Doing what I truly want to do, and not feeling bad about what other people want me to do, or what they think I should do instead. I'm not even close to being perfect at doing this, because it's hard to change 15 years of worrying into 3 months of not giving a f--k. I am trying though, and I think I've made significant progress.

Since I've been away from the blog I've made many decisions (some significant, some not so much):

 1. Spent a ridiculous amount of money to get my hair highlighted (because getitng my hair done makes me feel good, and that's OK)

2. Stuck to a healthy eating cleanse (No sugar, no starches) for about 2 months. I got a lot of backlash for this one, but I did it for me and my health and I would do it again...and I probably will in the next few months

3. Ditched my healthy eating routine (occasionally, once the cleanse was over) to eat whatever the hell I wanted. I totally savored some delicious pancakes, chili fries, and a chocolate milkshake and as I sit here today thinking about it...I don't feel the least bit bad. I do go to Zumba after all :)

4. Reached out to a friend who I'd lost touch with. Some of my other friends didn't want to contact her and that's FINE, but I did and I'm glad I did. I don't know where the relationship will go in the future, but for right now we're in a good place

5. Went for a somewhat alternative job outside of my field. I got the job, and accepted within a 24 hour period. I then got another job offer for a job within my field, which I turned down in 30 seconds. This one was hard, and I did spend a lot of time asking people what they thought. I spent a few weeks wondering if I had made the right choice. It's day 3 of my new job right now, so we'll see...

6. Went shopping for clothes...a lot. If I wanted something, I got it. J and I both agreed I had a shopping addiction going on there for awhile, but even as I look at my bank account (which is running incredibly, incredibly low) I don't regret it. I will make more money and I am now on a much more responsible budget

Hopefully this has inspired you to do something you've been truly wanting to accomplish, even if it means feeling judgement from other people. I'm going to keep working on it too, and I won't feel the least bit bad about that.

H :)


“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others" -Steve Maraboli

 

Year of Me Choice #1: Dwell on the Positive Past

To recap: I'm working towards life improvement by making intentional and thoughtful choices each and every day...then I'm going to tell you about them!

I'm a week into my Year of Me and I'm feeling pretty good. I always work well when I have goals in mind and though my goals are lofty, (inner peace, happiness, fulfillment, etc.) making small changes each week should break up those 365 days.

This week I went out to lunch with a friend (at a fantastic restaurant that I will talk about in a different post) and we got into a serious discussion about dwelling on the past. We were both feeling bad about all sorts of things (we seriously covered everything from hairstyles to past relationships). We agreed that we needed to find a way to accept the things that we cannot change and start remembering all of the greatness that has already occurred (not to mention all the good things ahead). I've been thinking about our conversation a lot over the past couple of days, and I decided it was time to break out a project that I started last year. Enter, the Year of Happy Memories Jar (Yes, I did just make up that name).

My 1st Year of Happy Memories Jar began New Years Day, 2013. My friend and I read all of our memories out loud on New Years Eve one year later. I loved reliving some of my best moments and it made me realize that after all was said and done, it really had been a fantastic year. No mention of a fight with friends or family troubles. Only the good was celebrated and it was perfectly acceptable for us to sit back and dwell on the positive past. 

During my Year of Me I'm going to continue my dwelling by breaking out (and actually keeping up with) my 2014 Year of Happy Memories Jar. I've got the jar, lots of colorful paper, and an endless supply of sharpies. Every time something happens that you feel was significant (You cuddled a baby duckling, perhaps a friend got married) write the memory and the date down on a slip of paper, fold it up, and toss it in the jar. Soon the memories will begin piling up! I'm going to open my jar on New Years, but really, the details are all up to you.

Suddenly dwelling on the past doesn't seem like such a bad thing, H :)

Choice #1: Dwell on the positive past with a Happy Memories Jar

Year of Me

Here’s the thing. People. Make. Choices. Hundreds a day, who knows how many in a lifetime. Some people are satisfied with their choices, and some people have serious regrets. I have a friend who I greatly admire because she says that she’s never regretted anything that she’s done in her life. I think that’s the sign of a seriously secure person (I also think that when I said admire I meant envy). I wish I could be half as confident with my own choices.

“No one wants to hear about your shitty life.” I heard that on a TV show once. I forgot the show, but I wrote that down on a sticky note and stuck it in a random drawer in my room. For a while now, my friends and family have been hearing a lot about my so-called “shitty life,” host of regrets, and missed opportunities. It’s not fair and it’s created rifts. Unhappiness and loneliness will make you do a lot of things that you told yourself you would never do. I don’t want to be that person.

Officially, the next 365 days are going to be my “Year of Me” (in my mind anyway). All choices that I think will help me lead a fulfilling life, allll the time. I want to find a job that I like, and not just one that I have to endure. I want to help as many people as possible. I want to take the time to laugh, put my arm around someone, and tell them that I care about them. I want the choices that I make to create some sort of kick-ass butterfly effect (also a great movie). I’m not saying I won’t make any choices that I’ll come to regret (I’m not my friend, and I never will be), but I’ll be out there, trying to do things that make me happy.

First things first, clean my room, get some pistachio gelato, and binge watch Graceland season 1, H :)