It has been soooo long since I've contributed to the blog (J is probably pissed, but she's been holding it down with all sorts of interesting things so it's all good). The only excuse that I can come up with is that there truly has been an incredible amount of change happening in my life this summer, and I'm still trying to keep up! Now all I need to do is remember to take the time to share it with you...
Choice #2: Do What You Want and Don't Feel Bad, is actually more like Choice #2-200, because I used this summer to make tons of life decisions that needed to be made, and then I stuck with them.
All my life I've been a worrier. I will make a choice, then agonize over it for hours, days, or months even. I'll drive my friends crazy with my constant debating about what to do and what's right! I took some time to think about why I do this, and I've come to the conclusion that I value what other people think too much (key words being "too much"). There's nothing wrong with asking for opinions of course, but in the end I never wanted to have the final say in my own decisions.
This is what I have been desperately working on from about June until now. Doing what I truly want to do, and not feeling bad about what other people want me to do, or what they think I should do instead. I'm not even close to being perfect at doing this, because it's hard to change 15 years of worrying into 3 months of not giving a f--k. I am trying though, and I think I've made significant progress.
Since I've been away from the blog I've made many decisions (some significant, some not so much):
1. Spent a ridiculous amount of money to get my hair highlighted (because getitng my hair done makes me feel good, and that's OK)
2. Stuck to a healthy eating cleanse (No sugar, no starches) for about 2 months. I got a lot of backlash for this one, but I did it for me and my health and I would do it again...and I probably will in the next few months
3. Ditched my healthy eating routine (occasionally, once the cleanse was over) to eat whatever the hell I wanted. I totally savored some delicious pancakes, chili fries, and a chocolate milkshake and as I sit here today thinking about it...I don't feel the least bit bad. I do go to Zumba after all :)
4. Reached out to a friend who I'd lost touch with. Some of my other friends didn't want to contact her and that's FINE, but I did and I'm glad I did. I don't know where the relationship will go in the future, but for right now we're in a good place
5. Went for a somewhat alternative job outside of my field. I got the job, and accepted within a 24 hour period. I then got another job offer for a job within my field, which I turned down in 30 seconds. This one was hard, and I did spend a lot of time asking people what they thought. I spent a few weeks wondering if I had made the right choice. It's day 3 of my new job right now, so we'll see...
6. Went shopping for clothes...a lot. If I wanted something, I got it. J and I both agreed I had a shopping addiction going on there for awhile, but even as I look at my bank account (which is running incredibly, incredibly low) I don't regret it. I will make more money and I am now on a much more responsible budget
Hopefully this has inspired you to do something you've been truly wanting to accomplish, even if it means feeling judgement from other people. I'm going to keep working on it too, and I won't feel the least bit bad about that.
H :)
“How would your life be different if…You stopped allowing other people to dilute or poison your day with their words or opinions? Let today be the day…You stand strong in the truth of your beauty and journey through your day without attachment to the validation of others" -Steve Maraboli
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